This list was sent in by a reader and I thought it was just too funny not to share.
It’s from one of those forwarded emails which are generally terrible and make you want to reach your hand through the computer and wring somebody’s neck but this one is really good, and applicable to all of you “future” Floridians.
DISCLAIMER: The thought’s expressed below are not my own (though I agree with many of them), so don’t hold anything against me personally!
So without further ado, The Florida Code.
- When giving directions in Florida , you must always start with the words, “take I-75, take I-4 or take I-95…”
- If you’re a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 A.M. to 10 A.M. AND 4 P.M. to 7 P.M. This is considered to be RUSH HOUR and you are not in any rush. NO EXCEPTIONS.
- Tolls are a fact of life, the state has to make money, so deal with it!
- I-275 ( Tampa area) will always be under construction … that’s the law and there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!
- We measure the distance we travel in time – not miles.
- If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of Florida without seeing an orange barricade, you’re lost!
- If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly acceptable to back up!
- Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo = Rt. 60) just for the heck of it and also for the pleasure we get from reaction of visitors when we give them directions.
- Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection, eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red.
- Know the difference between SunPass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel, and SunTrust.
- Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual.
- Your blinker means nothing.
- It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.
- We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don’t be stupid and try to feed or pet one.
- When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you’re not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, and potato chips.
- You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street, Avenue, Court, Place and Trail.
- A true Floridian does NOT own a boat. They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don’t have to deal with any of the headaches.
- You weren’t born here. If you were, you’re angry that everyone else moved here.
- There’s always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on almost every corner – with more being built every day.
- It’s normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.
- There is a city called ‘The Villages’ where 125,000 old people live that all drive golf carts and dance in the streets.
- Jupiter is a city, not a planet.
- Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays…not weeknights or weekends…that’s for the working folks.
- There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also a football team.
- You can’t say ‘this is how we did it up north’. If you think that way, then go back up north. Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both ways.
- No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.
- Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But inside any restaurant or business it’s 65 degrees.